Hands got sore from the burn of the hot coals. It sends a sharp stimulus to the brain; the body withdraws and never wants to give a try any more. The burning passion to still make it work and live my dream wouldn’t let me rest. My mind gets tortured of wanting to try again. I keep on getting burnt but had no peace in me to give up. I took a deep breath, take few steps back and kept watch. I couldn’t still see a thing. I sat down, filled with fury. There’s no me without living real me. There must be a way out. I was filled with sorrow. My heart was heavy. The burden on my shoulder is weighing me down. I stretched my hand but no one, no one to take it. No one to stand with me till the end of time. What a mystery! Mystery of being seen as an object than the subject of transformation”. I closed my eyes, but it was filled with reflection of betrayal, disappointments, pains, deceits, failures, torture, neglects….. Setbacks. Yea….I couldn’t contain it; with a loud scream I opened my eyes. My lips trembling and my hands shaking. Then there’s this sweet voice, calm and it whispers. …
No regrets. No regrets… you never failed. Where you are is far! Far! Better than where you’re coming from. You already have direction; you’re on the right path. Where you’re going will be far better than where you’re coming from. You’re in charge. Only you have the power to make it happen. …. Make it happen… make it happen!
This sounds also like a mystery. I have tried, and tried, and tried… still trying. I hardly move a feet. I’ve crawled. I still fail. Still pondering on this” There came a sharp flash light on my face, almost setting me blind. I covered my face with my burnt palms. They still hurt.
I can’t do this any more! Free me! I screamed
Free yourself! This voice whispered silently. You’ve come a long way to give up. It’s in your hands to make it work. Stop depending on anyone. Even your shadow leaves you in the dark. Learn to push without look back. If you keep counting your steps you might not get to your destination.
Life is a journey; there must be bus stops, road blocks, road bumps, car break down, tire burst, many times accidents. You’re a survivor! Even while drowning, keep your head above the water level…
My energy begin to fill me as I hear these words, I feel the cracking of my broken bones, I can hear its sounds, I pulled myself up and stood on my feet, I forgot the pains from the my burnt palms. I screamed so loud… I AM A SURVIVOR!
I bent once more and pulled the heavy burning coal, away to make a pass to my tilling. I tilled the ground so fast and energetically, I took my mind away from the pains and focused on my mission. I worked tirelessly. Lo and behold, there lies the gold I’ve been searching for, behind it laid the emerald, the precious stone. I picked up and laughed out loud, with tingly tears at the corner of my eyes. I cling it tight on myself and shed tears amidst laughter. Tears of victory and accomplishment”
I heard claps and shouts of victory behind me, surprisingly I turned to the back, and I can’t believe the people amongst the crowd cheering me up. Exactly the ones that tried to make my journey unsuccessful and told me I can’t make it. Ones who abandoned me when it seems to them I’m a liability and of no value” People who took advantage of my situation”
Ignore them and walk away’ this strange voice said.
Exactly! I replied.
I walked to them with a squeezed face, zero smiles. Pride” They were filled with shame and put their head down, scared of what might befall them. Their faces masked with guilt of their actions towards me. I halted before them, examine these faces and I threw my hands open and let them fill it. I burst into laughter and hugged them. I was so happy they came around. They were noise once again. I received praises and prayers.
I thanked them whole heartedly. They are the reason why I am me today. If a seed doesn’t die, it can never bear forth fruit. No pain no gain. If you never lacked something, you’ll never appreciate it. It’s through the pains of labor, that an offspring comes forth. I wouldn’t have been me without critics. I wouldn’t have learnt to walk alone if I was not abandoned on the way. I wouldn’t have recognized victory without failure.
Though toucheth my heart, and filled with inspirations.
Thou guideth my path and led me to my destination
Though speaketh to me in dreams, and filled my ears with words to unleash
Though toucheth my hand and blessed thee, and it was used tactfully and technically, and through it messages was passed
Let thou keep directing me for thy journey is still far!
You can be a survivor, only if though listens to thy God inside of you and not men around you